The Impossible Piano Student
Every piano teacher has had at least one – the impossible piano student. For whatever reason – forced by their parents, attention deficit disorder – an impossible piano student will prove to be a challenge for any teacher.
Dealing with an impossible student is hard, because the teacher often doesn’t know the underlying reason for their actions. Most will try to increase their interest in order to improve their behavior, maybe by experimenting with different types of music. If that fails, the parents are brought in to discuss their actions, and if that fails, too, dismissal is that final step.
A piano teacher never wants to dismiss a student, but if there is a lack of respect on the part of both the student and the parents, then there really is no recourse. Mind games and power trips are often used in order to get a teacher to “back off” of the criticism and practice requirements, but if a student or parent needs to resort to that, then you have to question “why are they taking lessons?”
Generally, if the student is extremely unhappy, then dismissal is a relief to them. But, if their parents had little notice that there were problems, then dismissal can make them angry – most often at the teacher for not notifying them that there was an issue.
But when is notification accepted? If it is casually mentioned when the child is picked up from lessons, chances are it goes in one ear and out the other because they are in a hurry. If you ask to speak to the parent in private to tell them, again, how much attention are they paying to what you are saying? Letters to the parent can also go unseen or unread. A phone call or a message left on a machine might get their attention, but then they accuse the teacher of not being more communicative.
However, if the teacher reaches a point that they dread a student’s lesson time, then it is time to take action. A teacher should never be coerced into continuing lessons that are obviously psychologically damaging to him/her and the student.
A manner in which to suggest dismissal to a parent and/or student would be to nicely propose that maybe another teaching method might be more productive for the student. Possibly suggest that the student doesn’t seem content with piano and that they might prefer another instrument. There are several ways to address an unruly student without accusations.
Some teachers have taken to preparing “contracts” for the students and parents that outline what is considered unruly behavior and what steps will be taken prior to dismissing a student. However, even with this contract clause, the dismissal of a student will still involve anger and hard feelings. It is human nature to react as such when dealing with rejection.
While dismissing a student is one of the most difficult issues a piano teacher can face, it is sometimes the only solutions to an ongoing problem. The key thing is to deal with it empathically for the student and the parents, and by offering alternatives. |
